Post by Gunny on May 24, 2009 16:58:29 GMT 10
The NI is hilariously bad. From misdirection, to creative editing, to blatantly lying about things, the NI is like a crazy man's blog, except they expect you to pay money for it.
Case in point. The hairy bitch that claims to edit the thing rants about how once, a British convoy carrying nuclear weapons stopped to pick up some McDonalds. She makes it sound like the driver just leaves the damn things unsupervised on the side of the road.
Obviously the fact that there are armed Royal Marines and MoD police guarding the convoy escaped her. The idea that having the occasional random stops is a good thing. And of course, the burning question - how does someone steal a nuclear warhead off the back of a secure lorry?
Okay, lets assume you catch Her Majesty's Finest with their pants down while they are eating their McMuffins, and manage to paste the lot of them. Automatic weapon fire - which you'd need - not being common in Oxfordshire, will no doubt have many of the pussies which occupy the nanny-state that is the United Kingdom frantically tapping 999 out on their phones. So, let's be conservative and say you have five minutes before they figure out what's going on and SO19 arrives to kick your arse.
You can't open the lorry to get the nukes out in this timeframe, so what do you do? You drive the lorry off. Now, let's hope to hell that it doesn't have a remote kill switch.
Damn. Now you're stuck on the middle of the motorway with your hands all bloody and a bunch of very angry trigger happy British Bobbies looking for a chance to waste you.
But of course, as employment at the NI, or rather, membership of the NI collective, requires a lobotomy, they would have never thought of that.
Case in point. The hairy bitch that claims to edit the thing rants about how once, a British convoy carrying nuclear weapons stopped to pick up some McDonalds. She makes it sound like the driver just leaves the damn things unsupervised on the side of the road.
Obviously the fact that there are armed Royal Marines and MoD police guarding the convoy escaped her. The idea that having the occasional random stops is a good thing. And of course, the burning question - how does someone steal a nuclear warhead off the back of a secure lorry?
Okay, lets assume you catch Her Majesty's Finest with their pants down while they are eating their McMuffins, and manage to paste the lot of them. Automatic weapon fire - which you'd need - not being common in Oxfordshire, will no doubt have many of the pussies which occupy the nanny-state that is the United Kingdom frantically tapping 999 out on their phones. So, let's be conservative and say you have five minutes before they figure out what's going on and SO19 arrives to kick your arse.
You can't open the lorry to get the nukes out in this timeframe, so what do you do? You drive the lorry off. Now, let's hope to hell that it doesn't have a remote kill switch.
Damn. Now you're stuck on the middle of the motorway with your hands all bloody and a bunch of very angry trigger happy British Bobbies looking for a chance to waste you.
But of course, as employment at the NI, or rather, membership of the NI collective, requires a lobotomy, they would have never thought of that.
